You can contact me wherever I am with the info here. |



MOVIES FOR YOU Father-Son Day A twisted take on a typical episode of the Jetsons. See what happens when a grown man and a small boy spend the day alone in a house full of gadgets designed to serve their wanton desires. The Edison Museum This is a Flash video of a song from They Might Be Giants' kids album, NO. It's fun! There's stuff to click on, and you learn about a creepy museum. Click "Open in New Window". AQUA-RAMA Aquaman Dance The original rump-shakin' from Adult Swim, cerca two fucking years ago. Grocery store. (642 kb) Want the background music? Here ya go! MUSIC FOR YOU Remember the video from last time, of the Kafka rock opera episode of Home Movies? Well, that was just the opening two songs. Here's an mp3 of all the songs from that show. During "Livin' Like a Bug Ain't Easy," Jason is overwhelmed by the tragedy of it all. "He died so young... just like James Dean... (sob sob)" Go here for Spastic Matt Hollis' sampler site of sensational MUSIC FOR YOU! If you want more, he's the guy you talk to. I Like to Watch mp3 and video An extremely, extremely offensive song about the Sept. 11th attacks, done by the leader of a suicide cult. I love this country! WARNING: the video contains some very graphic material, but it's not porn.... it's art. Yeah, that's it... "art." |

NEW STUFF, PUT UP LIKE NOW 8/31/03- Found a flash video by the guy who created Ren & Stimpy (John Kricfalusi), thought I'd put it on the site. It's a disturbing rendition of the Jetsons, and I enjoyed it tremendously. 8/26/03- Updated the "Contact Me" bit up above. Everybody's got the right to know where I am. But that'll be the only part of the site I'm going to update from here on out. 5/9/03- I think I should make it official- this website will no longer be updated. So much has happened since I started this sucker up, that if I were to keep on adding stuff I'd be trying to maintain an image that I've outgrown. Like trying to convince everyone that the dead guy is alive in Weekend at Bernie's. So I've decided to just let the site be, and stand as a memorial to my foray into website design. It's like a dinosaur- you can either try to update it into something modern the kids can relate to, like a cell phone, or just let it become a pretty fossil. Where am I getting these metaphors from? Because they're brilliant! Ennyhao, it's been a fun ride, if I make a new site a link will probably show up on here, but the ride is over. At this time, I'm packing up my belongings to spend the summer working as a lifeguard in my hometown of Easton, MD. That's Easton with a doctor's diploma. To all the people who've visited the site (all four or five of you), thanks so much for your support and searing criticisms. I didn't pay attention to any of it. Also, if you're a fan of this site, my message is: Get a life! This site SUCKS. If you can't understand that, there is no hope for you or the human race. Go to a better site like x-entertainment.com or transfandom.com. Thank you, and good night. 4/21/03- I'm not really dead. That was an April fool's joke... that remained in place 20 days. Sorry about the misunderstanding, family! But I am female. Yep. Sure. Anyhow, I'm updating with a Flash game/video from They Might Be Giants' kids' album, NO. It's called NO. 4/1/03- I, Christian's mother Joyce, regret to inform fans of pronwanker.homestead.com that the site's owner has succumbed to longtime depression and committed suicide. I've included this scan of his obituary and funeral arrangements. Also, she never told anyone, but Chris was really, biologically, a woman. She would have wanted her readers to know this. And before she took her own life, she put the two newest media files in the "Movies for You" section, and deleted the "Papers to Print Out" section. We are all richer for having known her.
3/1/03- Fiddling around with the old site I've neglected since 9/16- I miss messing around with the old thing. Deleted some broken links to Cool Things: gonna find the original stuff, or put links to more stuff. Previously, I would have told you that the site is abandoned forever, but now... now I'm not so sure.
9/16/02- Good lord almighty, it's been practically a whole summer! It's 2 weeks into the new semester, but now that things are more organized, I'm going to start up this whole mess again. Starting with the broken links. Fixing broken links... it's so therapeutic!
6/03/02- Updated the journal with the account of today, when I saved a child from drowning. Seriously. I'll start the entry soon- should be done at like 8:00. Also, cool thing #8- a flash animation continuing the Primeval Dawn comic from Botcon- Primeval Dawn II ! ! !
5/30/02- Updated the journal with everything that's happened in the last 50 or so days. Witness the epic conclusion of my most recent relationship!
5/19/02- Okay, maybe I will update the site over the summer. I miss it too much to ignore it. Once I put down my thoughts on paper, i'll write a monster journal entry. But no media updates, except for pictures. Dial-up connection, you know.
5/11/02- I'm officially not updating until the end of the summer, since I'm going home where I WON'T have a high-speed connection, which is the only way Homestead editing is feasible. See you in a few months, folks. Enjoy your summer.
4/28/02- New Cool Thing. It's hard to find cool things that aren't web pages in themselves.
4/9/02- Hawkman! Mr T! A whole episode of Transformers! See under "MOVIES FOR YOU." Meanwhile, I'm starting a collection of cool stuff up where it says... Cool stuff.
4/6/02- The five files to the right there? Those are new. I just finished them, so I might as well show 'em off. How sad is it that, somewhere out there, someone's going to be bored enough to actually look at that report? That would be pretty irrational. But then, humans aren't entirely rational creatures, are they?
4/2/02- Just ignore this update. I need to post this zip file here so I can download it from another computer and print it out. Hey, if you've got it (the technology), flaunt it(the technology)!
3/28/02- Updated the journal with stuff about my spring break, and put up the Home Movies and Simpsons clips to the right. Now I can focus on school... Ahhhh.
3/24/02- Spring break is over, and I'm glad. It was kind of... stink. Sorry I didn't make an update before I left, but I had a bunch of midterms, you squinks!
Some of the Aquaman stuff is going to stay up. Aquaman totally rocks.
3/9/02- I said I would, and I did. Check out the Aqua-rama over to the right! It's Aqua-rific! And the complete Home Movies Kafka thing. On another note, are corporations signing my guestbook? Flattery will get you nowhere, web-based corporations!
3/8/02- Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but sometime this weekend you can expect a cornucopia of Aquaman media, and maybe more of that Kafka rock opera. Meanwhile, people sign my guestbook and make me happy! Thank you, people!
2/27/02- Only two people signed the guestbook, and one of them is me. But to the people who did- thank you, Billy! Thank you, me! New batch of videos. I'd consider this a good batch, when you remember that I've only got 8 MB of space on this site, and no file can be more than 4 MB.
View it or sign it. I'm rather excited, actually, to see who's checking out this here site on a daily basis. Maybe this is the page people switch to really quick when they've got porn on their computer at work. Who knows?
2/19/02- Well sir, I squeezed three videos onto my server space, and there they are, over to the right! Brak and Bjork. Enjoy! Now I'm going to update the journal.
2/18/02- Guilt compels me to promise to put up a short video of some kind soon. Me naked.
1/27/02- Fudge you! journal updated, i'm about to update the mp3s.
1/20/02- The pronwanker is back, baby! So very sorry that I was so long in updating the site, but there was not a single computer at home capable of site updateage. Now I'm back at college, I've been sitting in front of my computer for the past 10 hours, and I want to jab my burning eyes with forks. Slight rearrangement up top- I wanted to put in a simple nav-bar without disrupting the aesthetics. Quote and hitcounter comment changed, journal entry... entered, big robot icons moved up. Mp3s to be updated when I get around to it (soon).
12/19/01- There are now a few pictures of me here. Previously, all of my links, mp3s, etc were pop-up windows. So if you had pop-ups disabled, they just seemed like broken links. Naughty! Now every link opens up in the same window. You should disable your pop-up windows, actually. What are you going to miss, a bunch of porn ads? Wait, never mind. 12/18/01- Video for suicide cult song to your right.
12/17/01- I'm tired. One new mp3 put up. Expect a large gap between now and the middle of January, as I will be at home on a *shudder* dial-up.
12/11/01- Wow, this "online journal" thing is a lot easier than... anything I've ever made online. Updated every damn day so far, no lie! Big accomplishment considering it's been up for 3 days. Follow the above link to get there. Oh my laundry!
12/9/01- Sweet angry Jeezis, I haven't updated this site in several weeks! Well, I'm going to turn over a new... Inter-leaf, and update. Yes, Inter-leaf. Deal with it. That page ridiculing my ex-roommate? It's gone. I mean, it's been a semester since I spent more than five minutes in the same room as him, let's let bygones be bygones, eh? Instead, that's going to be a not-often-updated journal-y deal. This idea was semi-inspired by my new secret agent friend, codename SmashOrchidRock, who has a livejournal page, and will only talk to you if you have one too. Nevertheless, she's really good at noticing how pathetic trendy college campuses are. IM her, if you want. Music updated, too. See, it's hard to do that, since this service deal only gives you 8 MB of space, and no file can be bigger than 4MB, so that restricts the possiblilities considerably. Bear with my ass! Mmmm, bare ass...
12/9/01, slightly later in the day- Moved some stuff around up there. If it sucks, tell me.
11/20/01- Felt guilty about not changing the mp3s, so I uploaded some magnetic poetry I made a year ago, on someone's door. Here it is. Enjoy!
11/14/01- Bear with me, this has been a pretty busy week, what with schoolings and all. Here's a picture gallery that I put zero effort into. No pics of me, just random... interesting images. I think I'll upload more pictures there soon, just for variety, and since it requires so very little effort. But, wise and benevolent webmaster, we want to see pictures of YOU! Silence, you sniveling worm! If you want a picture of me, give an email at me using the above address, or message me instantly using peanutmaker2000, my AIM screen name. Unless you want to see me naked. 11/8/01- Still fiddling and diddling with the webcam. Bugs remain to be worked out of it, that's for sure. Once they're squashed, I'ma think up some ideas for the bravenet site, take pictures with the cam for the idea, and figure out the html for the page for that idea. Figure on maybe a billion billion years for that, mate.
11/1/01- Okay, you know that webcam I've been talking about constantly? I have it. It's on top of my computer. And it does not work. As you probably know, it takes longer to fix something than to buy it, so it may be a while until I get some pIkChUrEs up on the bravenet site. Sumovabish! On the plus side, I saw They Might Be Giants perform *live* last night. They were awesome! I even bought a Mink Car t-shirt. There'll be pictures of it once I get my HECKING WEBCAM TO HECKING WORK!
10/25/01- Midterms R over, d00d! I'm free to waste time, once again. It feels good. I just deposited $400 in checks into my account, so I should be able to use money soon. Plans? Toys! A working phone service! Comics! Most importantly, and I've been waiting for this since last year... a webcam. Yes, that's why I put up that eye-offending announcement up there.
10/13/01- Okay, let me fill you guys in on what's been happening with the site... At the beginning of the month, Homestead shut it down, since they switched to a pay service, and those who wanted to maintain their sites for free had to keep under their maximums- maximum # of pages, maximum amount of storage used, etc. Since I had 6 pages, and their max was 3, they blocked off the site until I deleted 3. Then I deleted 3 pages. And bling bling, the page comes back! Still... it's not that high-quality. I've started work on a site at www.bravenet.com with their optional HTML editing. It'll be even better once I get a webcam and add wAcKy PiKcHuReS. Yeah! Unfortunately, I don't know jack about HTML, so until I've fiddled with that site enough to know it, this "hardcore" WYSIWYG site will have to satiate my webmastering desires. Oh yeah, I'm going to update that downloadable song up there every week on maybe Thursday or Friday. Expect intelligent dance music. One of these days, I'll know HTML, and have my own bannerless domain name... someday. Hey, then I'll be "webmaster of my domain!" HA HA HA HA HAH HOEH HAHEHEH HEH HEE HOE I MADE TEH FUNNAY!!!!!1 |

Cool things: 1 ~ 4 ~ 6 ~ 7 |
I'm not dead, but this site is. Ha! I laugh like Alf. Ha! |
Cool things: 1 ~ 4 ~ 6 ~ 7 |





NEW STUFF, PUT UP LIKE NOW 8/31/03- Found a flash video by the guy who created Ren & Stimpy (John Kricfalusi), thought I'd put it on the site. It's a disturbing rendition of the Jetsons, and I enjoyed it tremendously. 8/26/03- Updated the "Contact Me" bit up above. Everybody's got the right to know where I am. But that'll be the only part of the site I'm going to update from here on out. 5/9/03- I think I should make it official- this website will no longer be updated. So much has happened since I started this sucker up, that if I were to keep on adding stuff I'd be trying to maintain an image that I've outgrown. Like trying to convince everyone that the dead guy is alive in Weekend at Bernie's. So I've decided to just let the site be, and stand as a memorial to my foray into website design. It's like a dinosaur- you can either try to update it into something modern the kids can relate to, like a cell phone, or just let it become a pretty fossil. Where am I getting these metaphors from? Because they're brilliant! Ennyhao, it's been a fun ride, if I make a new site a link will probably show up on here, but the ride is over. At this time, I'm packing up my belongings to spend the summer working as a lifeguard in my hometown of Easton, MD. That's Easton with a doctor's diploma. To all the people who've visited the site (all four or five of you), thanks so much for your support and searing criticisms. I didn't pay attention to any of it. Also, if you're a fan of this site, my message is: Get a life! This site SUCKS. If you can't understand that, there is no hope for you or the human race. Go to a better site like x-entertainment.com or transfandom.com. Thank you, and good night. 4/21/03- I'm not really dead. That was an April fool's joke... that remained in place 20 days. Sorry about the misunderstanding, family! But I am female. Yep. Sure. Anyhow, I'm updating with a Flash game/video from They Might Be Giants' kids' album, NO. It's called NO. 4/1/03- I, Christian's mother Joyce, regret to inform fans of pronwanker.homestead.com that the site's owner has succumbed to longtime depression and committed suicide. I've included this scan of his obituary and funeral arrangements. Also, she never told anyone, but Chris was really, biologically, a woman. She would have wanted her readers to know this. And before she took her own life, she put the two newest media files in the "Movies for You" section, and deleted the "Papers to Print Out" section. We are all richer for having known her.
3/1/03- Fiddling around with the old site I've neglected since 9/16- I miss messing around with the old thing. Deleted some broken links to Cool Things: gonna find the original stuff, or put links to more stuff. Previously, I would have told you that the site is abandoned forever, but now... now I'm not so sure.
9/16/02- Good lord almighty, it's been practically a whole summer! It's 2 weeks into the new semester, but now that things are more organized, I'm going to start up this whole mess again. Starting with the broken links. Fixing broken links... it's so therapeutic!
6/03/02- Updated the journal with the account of today, when I saved a child from drowning. Seriously. I'll start the entry soon- should be done at like 8:00. Also, cool thing #8- a flash animation continuing the Primeval Dawn comic from Botcon- Primeval Dawn II ! ! !
5/30/02- Updated the journal with everything that's happened in the last 50 or so days. Witness the epic conclusion of my most recent relationship!
5/19/02- Okay, maybe I will update the site over the summer. I miss it too much to ignore it. Once I put down my thoughts on paper, i'll write a monster journal entry. But no media updates, except for pictures. Dial-up connection, you know.
5/11/02- I'm officially not updating until the end of the summer, since I'm going home where I WON'T have a high-speed connection, which is the only way Homestead editing is feasible. See you in a few months, folks. Enjoy your summer.
4/28/02- New Cool Thing. It's hard to find cool things that aren't web pages in themselves.
4/9/02- Hawkman! Mr T! A whole episode of Transformers! See under "MOVIES FOR YOU." Meanwhile, I'm starting a collection of cool stuff up where it says... Cool stuff.
4/6/02- The five files to the right there? Those are new. I just finished them, so I might as well show 'em off. How sad is it that, somewhere out there, someone's going to be bored enough to actually look at that report? That would be pretty irrational. But then, humans aren't entirely rational creatures, are they?
4/2/02- Just ignore this update. I need to post this zip file here so I can download it from another computer and print it out. Hey, if you've got it (the technology), flaunt it(the technology)!
3/28/02- Updated the journal with stuff about my spring break, and put up the Home Movies and Simpsons clips to the right. Now I can focus on school... Ahhhh.
3/24/02- Spring break is over, and I'm glad. It was kind of... stink. Sorry I didn't make an update before I left, but I had a bunch of midterms, you squinks!
Some of the Aquaman stuff is going to stay up. Aquaman totally rocks.
3/9/02- I said I would, and I did. Check out the Aqua-rama over to the right! It's Aqua-rific! And the complete Home Movies Kafka thing. On another note, are corporations signing my guestbook? Flattery will get you nowhere, web-based corporations!
3/8/02- Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but sometime this weekend you can expect a cornucopia of Aquaman media, and maybe more of that Kafka rock opera. Meanwhile, people sign my guestbook and make me happy! Thank you, people!
2/27/02- Only two people signed the guestbook, and one of them is me. But to the people who did- thank you, Billy! Thank you, me! New batch of videos. I'd consider this a good batch, when you remember that I've only got 8 MB of space on this site, and no file can be more than 4 MB.
View it or sign it. I'm rather excited, actually, to see who's checking out this here site on a daily basis. Maybe this is the page people switch to really quick when they've got porn on their computer at work. Who knows?
2/19/02- Well sir, I squeezed three videos onto my server space, and there they are, over to the right! Brak and Bjork. Enjoy! Now I'm going to update the journal.
2/18/02- Guilt compels me to promise to put up a short video of some kind soon. Me naked.
1/27/02- Fudge you! journal updated, i'm about to update the mp3s.
1/20/02- The pronwanker is back, baby! So very sorry that I was so long in updating the site, but there was not a single computer at home capable of site updateage. Now I'm back at college, I've been sitting in front of my computer for the past 10 hours, and I want to jab my burning eyes with forks. Slight rearrangement up top- I wanted to put in a simple nav-bar without disrupting the aesthetics. Quote and hitcounter comment changed, journal entry... entered, big robot icons moved up. Mp3s to be updated when I get around to it (soon).
12/19/01- There are now a few pictures of me here. Previously, all of my links, mp3s, etc were pop-up windows. So if you had pop-ups disabled, they just seemed like broken links. Naughty! Now every link opens up in the same window. You should disable your pop-up windows, actually. What are you going to miss, a bunch of porn ads? Wait, never mind. 12/18/01- Video for suicide cult song to your right.
12/17/01- I'm tired. One new mp3 put up. Expect a large gap between now and the middle of January, as I will be at home on a *shudder* dial-up.
12/11/01- Wow, this "online journal" thing is a lot easier than... anything I've ever made online. Updated every damn day so far, no lie! Big accomplishment considering it's been up for 3 days. Follow the above link to get there. Oh my laundry!
12/9/01- Sweet angry Jeezis, I haven't updated this site in several weeks! Well, I'm going to turn over a new... Inter-leaf, and update. Yes, Inter-leaf. Deal with it. That page ridiculing my ex-roommate? It's gone. I mean, it's been a semester since I spent more than five minutes in the same room as him, let's let bygones be bygones, eh? Instead, that's going to be a not-often-updated journal-y deal. This idea was semi-inspired by my new secret agent friend, codename SmashOrchidRock, who has a livejournal page, and will only talk to you if you have one too. Nevertheless, she's really good at noticing how pathetic trendy college campuses are. IM her, if you want. Music updated, too. See, it's hard to do that, since this service deal only gives you 8 MB of space, and no file can be bigger than 4MB, so that restricts the possiblilities considerably. Bear with my ass! Mmmm, bare ass...
12/9/01, slightly later in the day- Moved some stuff around up there. If it sucks, tell me.
11/20/01- Felt guilty about not changing the mp3s, so I uploaded some magnetic poetry I made a year ago, on someone's door. Here it is. Enjoy!
11/14/01- Bear with me, this has been a pretty busy week, what with schoolings and all. Here's a picture gallery that I put zero effort into. No pics of me, just random... interesting images. I think I'll upload more pictures there soon, just for variety, and since it requires so very little effort. But, wise and benevolent webmaster, we want to see pictures of YOU! Silence, you sniveling worm! If you want a picture of me, give an email at me using the above address, or message me instantly using peanutmaker2000, my AIM screen name. Unless you want to see me naked. 11/8/01- Still fiddling and diddling with the webcam. Bugs remain to be worked out of it, that's for sure. Once they're squashed, I'ma think up some ideas for the bravenet site, take pictures with the cam for the idea, and figure out the html for the page for that idea. Figure on maybe a billion billion years for that, mate.
11/1/01- Okay, you know that webcam I've been talking about constantly? I have it. It's on top of my computer. And it does not work. As you probably know, it takes longer to fix something than to buy it, so it may be a while until I get some pIkChUrEs up on the bravenet site. Sumovabish! On the plus side, I saw They Might Be Giants perform *live* last night. They were awesome! I even bought a Mink Car t-shirt. There'll be pictures of it once I get my HECKING WEBCAM TO HECKING WORK!
10/25/01- Midterms R over, d00d! I'm free to waste time, once again. It feels good. I just deposited $400 in checks into my account, so I should be able to use money soon. Plans? Toys! A working phone service! Comics! Most importantly, and I've been waiting for this since last year... a webcam. Yes, that's why I put up that eye-offending announcement up there.
10/13/01- Okay, let me fill you guys in on what's been happening with the site... At the beginning of the month, Homestead shut it down, since they switched to a pay service, and those who wanted to maintain their sites for free had to keep under their maximums- maximum # of pages, maximum amount of storage used, etc. Since I had 6 pages, and their max was 3, they blocked off the site until I deleted 3. Then I deleted 3 pages. And bling bling, the page comes back! Still... it's not that high-quality. I've started work on a site at www.bravenet.com with their optional HTML editing. It'll be even better once I get a webcam and add wAcKy PiKcHuReS. Yeah! Unfortunately, I don't know jack about HTML, so until I've fiddled with that site enough to know it, this "hardcore" WYSIWYG site will have to satiate my webmastering desires. Oh yeah, I'm going to update that downloadable song up there every week on maybe Thursday or Friday. Expect intelligent dance music. One of these days, I'll know HTML, and have my own bannerless domain name... someday. Hey, then I'll be "webmaster of my domain!" HA HA HA HA HAH HOEH HAHEHEH HEH HEE HOE I MADE TEH FUNNAY!!!!!1 |

MOVIES FOR YOU Father-Son Day A twisted take on a typical episode of the Jetsons. See what happens when a grown man and a small boy spend the day alone in a house full of gadgets designed to serve their wanton desires. The Edison Museum This is a Flash video of a song from They Might Be Giants' kids album, NO. It's fun! There's stuff to click on, and you learn about a creepy museum. Click "Open in New Window". AQUA-RAMA Aquaman Dance The original rump-shakin' from Adult Swim, cerca two fucking years ago. Grocery store. (642 kb) Want the background music? Here ya go! MUSIC FOR YOU Remember the video from last time, of the Kafka rock opera episode of Home Movies? Well, that was just the opening two songs. Here's an mp3 of all the songs from that show. During "Livin' Like a Bug Ain't Easy," Jason is overwhelmed by the tragedy of it all. "He died so young... just like James Dean... (sob sob)" Go here for Spastic Matt Hollis' sampler site of sensational MUSIC FOR YOU! If you want more, he's the guy you talk to. I Like to Watch mp3 and video An extremely, extremely offensive song about the Sept. 11th attacks, done by the leader of a suicide cult. I love this country! WARNING: the video contains some very graphic material, but it's not porn.... it's art. Yeah, that's it... "art." |


You can contact me wherever I am with the info here. |
|